Feminist Outlook on The Bachelor

Feminist Outlook on The Bachelor

I like to think of myself as a feminist and so it just bothers me that every time I find myself watching The Bachelor, I am instantly sucked in. The premise is simple: An attractive, charismatic man is ready to settle down and commit to marriage (Oh my god – the ultimate man!!!) – and 20+ beautiful women are in the market to be his wife. In other words, one man gets to date multiple women at once and the women are totally fine with this (cheating? – nahhh). In a series of events – let it be trips to exotic places, dinner dates, or hoe-down throwns in the latest Bachelor episode (which featured bikini laden girls doing tractor rides) the Bachelor gets to make decisions on who he would like to keep seeing and who he would not. Girls he wants to see again are given the honor of receiving a rose, and girls that do not receive a rose leave the show crying and broken-hearted.

So what is wrong with this picture? Well, The Bachelor depicts many negative elements regarding the Heterosexual Script…

My biggest issue with the show is the sexual double standard: “men should actively exhibit their sexual prowess” (Kim et al., 2007) while women should be “sexual-gatekeepers”. The show thrives on the premise that one man can get with multiple women and this is socially acceptable. The man is not labeled “man whore” or anything else demeaning (in fact, he is probably envied by other men) – but if it was a girl in society getting with multiple men at once she would likely be titled a “slut” or “whore”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRau5nstRnQ

Megan gets the first date!!! And yes - she is aware that Chris is also dating 20+ other women...

Additionally it bothers me that the girls so badly want to be with the Bachelor that before even meeting him they agreed to marry him (in the logic that: by signing up to do the show, they had the possibility of being chosen, and if being chosen they would marry him as the finale Bachelor episode always ends with a marriage proposal). As Kim et. al states, the media sends the message that feminine commitment “consists of seeking or asking for more commitment, monogamy, or marriage, and needing a boyfriend or a husband to feel like [women’s] lives are complete” (Kim et al., 2007).  It sickens me that girls want commitment and a monogamous relationship so badly that to get this they will resort to going on a reality show and force “love” to happen – as well as overlook the fact that the Bachelor is keeping his options open and not being monogamous in their relationship. Perhaps the women are so interested in the Bachelor because he defies stereotypes… Most men run away from commitment and are not ready to take a relationship to the next level, but the Bachelor is not just ready for a commitment, he is ready for marriage.

Furthermore, what also bothers me about The Bachelor is the lengths that women will go to, to get the Bachelor to fall in love with them (or, in the initial stages, simply attracted to them). In beginning episodes they will dress in sexy outfits that flatter their bodies (cue the Hoe Down Throw Down Bachelor scene). In later episodes however, the women are often willing to have sex with the Bachelor (because women know that men like sex and so perhaps sex will make the Bachelor desire them more). In feminine courting strategies depicted in media “women objectify themselves and exploit their bodies to attain power in romantic relationships” (Kim et al., 2007). Perhaps the women in The Bachelor have engaged with too much media and think that is the correct way to behave and the correct way to win a man over?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ6ZUMxdICM 

Is this a male fantasy or what? Look at all those girls in bikinis!!!    

Finally, to end my rant, my last complaint about The Bachelor again regards feminine courting strategies – although this time feminine courting strategies that emphasize “passive and indirect ways in which women attract or court a male partner” (Kim et al., 2007). In the Bachelor women play into sexual stereotypes and allow the man to make the first move and have the power in their relationship. This is depicted via the women waiting for the man to give them a rose and be asked back. The message enforces the idea that men are sexual initiators and that it is a woman’s place to be passive. Additionally, the message enforces the idea that a girls self-worth relies on a man: the girls are heartbroken and feel terrible about themselves when they are given a rose/ asked back and, in contrast, feel great about themselves when they are given a rose/asked back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xi8FJPusV8k 

The Final Rose Ceremony - Look at the different reactions of girls who get a rose and those who don't!

While the Bachelor makes for excellent television, the messages it sends to men and women about the Heterosexual Script are quite despicable.   

Works Cited

Kim, J., Lynn Sorsoli, C., Collins, K., Zylbergold, B., Schooler, D., & Tolman, D. (2007). From Sex to Sexuality: Exposing the Heterosexual Script on Primetime Network Television. Journal of Sex Research, 44, 145-157.

Bachelor TV. The Bachelor Chris – The Bikini Tractor Race. (2015, January 13). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ6ZUMxdICM

Bachelor TV. The Bachelor Chris – The Final Rose. (2015, January 13). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xi8FJPusV8k

Bachelor TV. The Bachelor Chris - Megan Get's the First Date. (2015, January 15). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRau5nstRnQ