Music and Sexting

Turn on any teen drama on the television and there is almost guarunteed to be a storyline about a girl experiencing negative consequences from sexting. Whereas television seems to warn young adults of the dangers of texting, much of the music made in the last few years actualy seems to glorify sexting. 

Let's take a look.

"Text" by Jason Derulo

Hit me with a text, let me know you're home alone

Freaky with that camera phone

Hit me with a text, got you on my favorite ringtone,

baby that's your favorite song

Hit me with a text, it can go long,

text me and I'll be around

Hit me with a....text! 

On the down low, nobody will have to know

This song seems to show the postitive consequences of sexting--the narrator of the song treats his girl well by setting their favorite song as her ringtone and promising that he will be around. He stresses nobody will have to know. He goes on to talk about all the things his girl does that he loves--including sending him pictures and "getting freaky" before breakfast. This song sees to endorse the message that men will show girls attention and commit to them if they particpate in sexting. 

LOL :-) by Trey Songz

She said, "LOL boy you crazy, come on"

Then she said, "acutally you ain't gotta ask me"

Sent that little face with the tongue cuz I'm nasty

I'm on my way (way), girl I can't wait (wait)

Twitter me a picture, let me see that OK

This song shows the boy's excitement and urgency to see the girl whom he is texting after she starts to participate in the sexual conversation. He is driving over to presumably have sex with her, but wants her to send him a picture while he's on his way. 

"Sexting" by Ludacris

Nexxt thing I know is that I got a text from a freaky Latina saying is that you I see

Is that you Papi

So I bbm'ed appreviate before the night gets too late

Let me hit you with that Q&A

Can I tap that a** tta

She replied it all depends

It's me plus one can I bring my friends

And all I can think is it's a shame

That I ain't learned a damn thing

In this song by Ludacris, the narrator of the song gets caught with dirty pics on his phone by his girlfriend and continues to sext even after getting caught, to which the girlfriend keeps saying "You ain't learned a damn thing." In the end, the male is rewarded by his cheating and sexting ways by having a "threesome" with two girls, instead of just his girlfriend--to which he jokes around by saying "I ain't learned a damn thing."

In all three of these songs, sexting is glorified and has positive consequences for both the males and females involved. For girls, it can be seen as a tool of power to get boys to drop what they're doing and come over for a sexual encounter. For boys, it is portrayed as desirable to have girls sexting you and embodies being a manly, powerful, cool man. The gender norms for sexting portrayed in music supports reseasrch conducted about the nature of sexting. (Lippman & Campbell, 2014). This poses a problem for young adults and children listening to this mainstream music, as they have limited sexual and relationship experience to help them make sense of the song lyrics. Although this is a difficult issue to tackle because of the easy access to music and minimal explicit content laws, it is important to educate the youth of America about sexting to help give them more information and context when listening to this music. 

Works Cited:

Lippman, J. & Campbell, S. 2014. "Damned if you do, damned if you don't." Journal of Children and Media. 8:4. 371-386.

Reflecting on Children's Sexuality Development aka "Weird...How Did I Not Notice Before?"

I'm quite aware that I watch a lot of Buzzfeed videos. Like a lot.

But something that has been really interesting to watch recently is this video that Buzzfeed posted titled "Men Who Sparked Your Sexual Awakening". 

Now, when I first watched this video, it really confused me because I never thought that animals in Disney movies could be sexually attractive. Simba, or Robin Hood (fox ver.) never really communicated sexual attractiveness to me, but thinking back on it, I definitely remember being really happy to pair Simba with Nala and strangely even Beast from Beauty and the Beast seemed natural as a kid. Looking back, sexual development in children is so interesting because it's weird to think that as children, we were all sexually developing and we weren't even aware of what was going on. But in this Buzzfeed video, adults can look back and are able to pin point aspects about Disney characters (whether they were real or fictional) that made them sexually interested without them really realizing it at the time. And whether or not they are aware of it, these portrayals of men in children's movies or boy bands show young girls what type of guys they should find attractive. This goes back to the idea that young children learn about sexuality through their social surroundings and by observing a role model (Bukowski & Drury, 2013). 

What's really interesting is that some things are not exactly supported in our societal norms (such as Beauty and the Beast) and yet to a kid, there's no problem in accepting that. I loved watching Disney movies but when I looked back and watched them again, I realized that there were a lot of sexual references or gender dynamics that children simultaneously accept and yet aren't really aware of. One of my favorite things to watch in high school was this YouTube series called "Advice from a Cartoon Princess". 

This video, which is about The Little Mermaid, points out so many messed up concepts such as changing your body for someone you love, or stealing objects from people. While kids might not be overtly conscious of these concepts, the impact that it has on their sexuality is definitely there. As a kid watching The Little Mermaid, I used to think that a woman that didn't talk was what made Ariel the most attractive. It was as if because Ariel didn't have her voice, Eric found her mysterious and beautiful. It was a strange concept that I had soaked up subconsciously until I watched the movie later in high school and realized how much I disliked Ariel. But as a kid, you don't realize those things and you almost think that's what you have to do to get someone to love you. Which is a dangerous mentality to have. 

Which is why I actually think it's good for parents to mediate films with their kids. As a kid whose mom loved watching movies, I always thought it was so annoying for my mom to ask me and my brother why we loved Toy Story. We always had to discuss it after watching and try to get "the big lesson" that it communicated. Despite it being annoying, it helped me to see that media can have deeper meanings to it if you go looking for it. 

As much as I do think kids should be independent in consuming their media and discovering what they like, I also think it's really important for children to have adult supervision. It's crazy to think about it, but parent's really have an influence on their kids. Because according to Social Cognitive Theory, if their looking for information and a role model, they're most likely going to go to their parents for answers and guidance. Recently, as I was discussing Disney movies with my roommate, I discovered that she grew up watching Lion King 2 first instead of The Lion King because her dad got the wrong version on VHS. So when she watched The Lion King, she thought it was the prequel instead of the original. Even as she was explaining this to me, she called it "Lion King 1". It's crazy to think that ONE parenting mishap can result in a kid being REALLY confused about a culturally impactful movie for a long time. And maybe that's why it's important to start talking about these things with kids early on, rather than later. Who knows, they might be able to critically think about some of the weird stuff that's on kids shows these days. 

Resources

Bukowski, W. M., Drury, K. M. (2013). Handbook of child and adolescent sexuality. Academic Press.

Dating in the Age of the Sext

In the early days, there was AIM. AIM could be used as a way to connect to your friends after school, but it could also be a place to meet strangers in random chatrooms. This quality in particular served as the catalyst for many, many terrible after school specials about meeting strangers online. There were real dangers with these chatrooms, but there also were relationships that were fostered, both platonic and romantic.

AIM has of course fallen out of style (and possibly existence?), but newer forms of the same concept exist in some shape or form. Recent studies seems to indicate that some 50% have dated someone they meet online, maybe a third of which end in marriage. And the numbers seem to be growing. Online dating websites such as eHarmony, OkCupid, and PlentyofFish have thousands of members. Apps like Tinder and Grindr serve as popular methods to connect to someone as easily as a swipe to the right.

For some people, this new way of 'meeting' without actually meeting face-to-face is seen as something of a positive. I have many friends who use Tinder because meeting guys at a bar is sort of problematic. Guys at bars can be troublesome, or, in some cases, actually threatening. For these girls, it's much easier to meet a guy through Tinder, get to know him, and then actually meet at a time when they feel comfortable.

But sometime, it isn't better. Sometimes it's actually worse. It's become increasingly noticeable that some guys, prominently straight men, but not exclusively, mostly use apps like Tinder as a method to sexually harass people. This odd phenomenon seems to be so common, that it has spawned numerous sites dedicated to cataloging these creepy, albeit funny, messages.

For some odd reason, there seems to be a method. Start out a conversation normally, then bring in a ludicrous, offensive, and rude comment. This comment is sometimes accompanied by an 'lol' as if this addition would make the text less...serious? easier to explain as a joke? the logic eludes me. In Lippman and Campbell's study examining the nature of sexting amongst adolescents, they found that girls must often face the constricting binary of either being labeled a slut or a prude for or for not exchanging sexts with boys (2014). A similar effect seems to have carried over to the internet dating world as we see repeat examples of something like this: 

Reference:
Lippman, J. & Campbell, S. (2014). "Damned if you do, damned if you don't...if you're a girl: Relational and normative contexts of adolescent sexting in the United States. Journal of Children and Media, 8(4), 371-385.

Consensual Sexting or Nah?

In class last week we talked about the difference between consensual and nonconsensual sexting amongst individuals. I thought that was interesting. If a sext is sent, isn't it usually consensual? Then we brought up the point that a sext is typically consensual between the sender and the receiver of the sext, but when it extends further than that, it is more than likely considered nonconsensual. Where is the line drawn between consensual and nonconsensual sexting?

I read a listicle the other day titled "11 Facts about Sexting," which contained some interesting information about sexting and the youth. For one, it said that nearly 70% of teen relationships experiment with sexting, but "61% of all sexters who have sent nude images admit that they were pressured to do it at least once" (11 Facts about Sexting, 2015). In addition, "15% of teens who have sent or posted nude/semi-nude images of themselves send these messages to people they have never met, but know from the Internet (11 Facts about Sexting, 2015). Those are some heavy statistics, but it further complicates the idea of consensual vs. nonconsensual sexting. If consensual sexting is usually between two people in a relationship, why do 61% feel pressured at sometime to send that sext? Does that make it nonconsensual?

In the article, "Damned if you Do, Damned if you Don't ... If You're a Girl: Relational and Normative Contexts of Adolescent Sexting in the United States," they say that "sexts are often redistributed without the permission or knowledge of the original sender" (Lippman & Campbell, 2014). When adolescents don't completely understand the severity of sending sexts, things are likely to get out of hand and become nonconsensual. I understand that it is a way to explore and express sexuality if an individual has not done so before, but it is necessary to be careful. I have heard of multiple instances where consensual nude or partially nude pictures turned to nonconsensual sexts sent around a middle school or high school, when the original intention was for the photo to be private between two people.

I've talked a lot about the risks of sexting, but I am actually an advocate of consensual sexting when you can fully understand the ramifications and consequences if it goes wrong. If you are in a committed relationship and you trust the other person, consensual sexting is not weird. It is a way to be proud of your body and own who you are. It's a way of expressing sexuality in a space that feels safe. Also, it is a way to still feel sexually close to someone, especially if you are in a long-distance relationship.

People's opinions on sexting can vary, but I think as people mature and understand the possible consequences of sending something as permanent as a sext, it becomes more acceptable. Especially if it is with someone you trust.

References:

Lippman, J., Campbell, S. (2014) Damned if you do, damned if you don't... If you're a girl: Relational and normative contexts of adolescent sexting in the United States.Journal of Children and Media, 8 (4) 371-386.

11 Facts about Sexting. (2015). Retrieved April 9, 2015, from https://www.dosomething.org/facts/11-facts-about-sexting

Selfie For Social Change

I recently received an email from a sorority member regarding a campaign she is working for.  She is collaborating with med students at the University of Michigan to work on a non-profit called Mankon Forum Scholarship Initiative.  This is a group that is designed to raise funds to give full scholarships to hard-working, dedicated students in rural Cameroon so that they can attend the required five years of high school.  Many of the students in this area are often forced to drop out of school and work in the fields to supply for themselves.  They are launching this campaign with an “educational selfie” video, which they hope to go viral in order to raise awareness and boost their social media presence.   The “educational selfie” video requirements ask one simple question: “what does education mean to you?”

This email of course reminded me of our guest speaker regarding the selfie phenomenon and the reading, How selfies became a global phenomenon.  In our class discussion, we focused a lot on the issue of what taking and posting selfies to social media says about an individual.  In this arena, we talked about those who take and post selfies are more likely to have greater levels of self-confidence and security.  In our class discussion, it was briefly touched upon that those who take and post selfies are sometimes seen as vain or conceded.

This campaign, however, got me thinking about some of the other potential implications of posting selfies.  In this campaign, the purpose is to raise awareness about an issue through the use of selfies.  The implications of taking and posting selfies are now changing, in my opinion, and potentially for the better.  If one were to post a video to his or her Facebook or Instagram about the importance of education, it seems unlikely that someone would title this person as “vain.”  Also, this sparked an idea that perhaps selifes have become so embedded in today’s social media use that those who don’t post selfies are becoming the minority.  If these campaigners are confident in their “educational selfie” idea, they must be fairly confident that this idea is going to work and go viral.  They must believe that the majority of people will feel comfortable and excited about posting a selfie video.

This idea is obviously reminiscent of the “Ice Bucket Challenge” videos that went viral months ago.  Millions of people did not mind posting videos soaking wet, so the selfie video seems like a logical next step.  

In my opinion, this campaign idea is a brilliant one, in the sense that because selfies have become so widely accepted and normalized, people will be excited about raising awareness about important issues in this new way.  This campaign also speaks to the stigmas surrounding selfies diminishing, and that those who take selfies could potentially now be viewed as empowered and socially active.

Works Cited:

Day, E. (2013). How selfies became a global phenomenon. The Guardian. Retrieved from http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2013/jul/14/how-selfies-became-a-global-phenomenon

The Internet as a Sexual Educator

For my paper, I wrote about using entertainment media as a form of sex education for adolescents and young teens. I was particularly interested in taking a look at the Internet, but unfortunately there isn't that much research published on its role in sex ed. Luckily, this seemed like a great topic for a blog post.

The Internet provides a huge resource for young people trying to learn more about sexual health and sexual development. As mentioned in the Brown article, 44% of adolescents reported using the Internet to find this kind of information in 2003. The Internet is a great resource in its anonymity, vast database of knowledge, and ability to connect individuals to other people going through similar developmental stages. Brown points out two main problems with teens using the Internet as a sexual health resource in 1. the potential of website to convey inaccurate information, and 2. the potential that teens will use the Internet to replace their parents or other people in their lives as sources of information.

I definitely agree that there's always the potential that the Internet will provide false information, but I personally believe that most teens/young adults (an age group that at this point in their lives has basically grown up with the Internet) are more than capable of evaluating the quality of what they're reading online. The second problem also seems like an unlikely side effect, as parents can still communicate what they need to about sex education to their kids regardless of the Internet as a resource. In fact, the Internet could be a great resource for parents to use when talking to their kids about sex. 

Let's face it, traditional sex education is simply not useful for most people. A lot of the research I found for my paper suggests that this kind of education is ineffective for two main reasons. First, adolescents simply don't find factual information about STIs and scientific terms describing body parts to be relevant to their lives. Second, schools and teachers often talk about sex in extremely negative ways, emphasizing the risk factors and negative consequences. This goes completely against how most young people experience sex, which for most people is a relatively positive thing. 

In addition, sex ed isn't even being held to a high standard in the US. I found these fascinating charts on the state of sex education, and it's kind of disturbing.

Abstinence only education has not been proved to reduce rates of teen pregnancy or STIs at all, and it's preposterous that certain states aren't required to provide medically accurate information to their students. Here's where the Internet could play a really key role in the sexual development of young people. 

First, the Internet is a resource that doesn't come from the school or the government (at least, not overtly). This could make students more favorable towards the information they're getting, especially if it seems like it's written by people who really get what they're going through. Second, the Internet can tell young people what they actually want to know about sex and relationships, rather than forcing them to sit through classes filled with irrelevant scientific information. Finally, many of these sites allow users to communicate with other people going through similar problems, allowing young people to understand their development is entirely normal.

When we took a look at sex education websites in class earlier this semester, my partner and I analyzed MTV's "It's Your Sex Life" (itsyoursexlife.com). This is a great resource for adolescents because of its focus on sexual health information such as STI testing and pregnancy as well as relationships, intimacy, and lgbt knowledge. It's an attractive, well-designed site that uses Internet appropriate language to relate to its audience and provides lists of phone numbers/hotlines, FAQs, and interviews with relevant resources. It also has pages addressing "am I ready to have sex?", "dating", and "hooking up", which are huge components of a young person's sexual development but are rarely addressed by formal sex education. This is a good example of new media that has so many benefits for its users, and we as a society really start to take advantage of resources like this.

I believe there's extremely great potential for the Internet to become an essential tool for providing relevant and accurate information to adolescents. The Internet wouldn't take over the role of an educator or a parent, but it provides non-judgmental knowledge about things that are useful and relevant. It could easily be used in conjunction with school sex ed and can be a great conversation opener for parents to talk to their kids about healthy sexual behavior and facilitate healthy sexual development.

Reading:

Brown, J.D., Keller, S., & Stern, S. (2009). Sex, sexuality, sexting, and sexed: Adolescents and the media. The Prevention Researcher, 16(4), 12-16.

Public Sexting

Unlike when I was in high school, sexting isn't just a (supposedly) private act between two people anymore. Ever heard of Collegefession? The extremely popular Twitter account (@collegefession) has over a million followers. When I started following Collegefession in 2013, they not only posted sent in confessions from universities across the United States, but were also well known for #tittytuesday, #wetwednesday, and #thongthursday, among other day themed hashtags. On the signified days, girls would send in pictures matching the theme, usually naked or nearly so. Every now and then the pictures included their faces and always included their affiliated universities. The boob, ass, and other provocative pictures were posted very publicly for anyone and everyone to see. There was no proof that these girls were actually 18 or older or that these pictures weren't sent in by boyfriends or hook ups.

Eventually, women started to request pictures catered to their preferences, and man "bulge" pictures and muscled chest photos earned their own days. They lacked the alliterated hashtags, however.

These days, Collegefession still posts the various nude or almost nude pictures every week, but now very few of them appear in their Twitter timeline. Instead they take you to their website, where you can not only access this week's #thongthursday, but any picture ever posted by the website. Supposedly, the account moved to this system because of the amount of photos they received. These photos more often than not include the girls' faces. Pictures are sent in via a submission link or Snapchat.

Of course, the site doesn't include any unattractive or overweight girls in their collections and the photos probably won't result in harassment on account of appearance. When the photos were still on Twitter, there could have been a psychological or emotional effect depending on whether or not the photo got as many likes as someone else's, however this issue has been lessened by the transition to posting the photos on collegefession.com. Nevertheless these photos are still widely available and easy to find. The girls can easily be identified by the people who know them on campus and are available to future partners or employers. Because of this, this very public form of sexting falls under the "risky sexual behavior" described in "Risky Behavior and Adolescent Development" by Temple, Le, Peskin, Markham, and Tortolero. This type of behavior may co-occur with other risky behaviors like sex with multiple partners or excessive alcohol consumption in pursuit of positive outcomes like "acceptance and respect by peers, role experimentation and identity development, establishing autonomy from parents, and marking a transition from childhood into adulthood" (p. 83). There's nothing like submitting nude photos to a very public platform to demonstrate your independence from your parents.

References

Temple, J., Le, V., Peskin, M., Markham, C., & Tortolero, S. (2014). Risky Behavior and Adolescent Development. Sexting and Youth, 77-94.

Restless Virgins...Is Teen Sexting Normal?

Restless Virgins

In the article Risky Behavior and Adolescent Development, researchers seek to answer if risky teen behavior such as sexting is normal or indicative of other risky sexual behaviors. I recently watched a film that is based off the real life scandal sex video scandal that occurred in 2005 at Milton Academy prep school in New England. Founded 200 years ago, Milton Academy is one of the most prestigious prep schools in New England. The Lifetime film follows the main protagonist Emily, the editor for the school newspaper. Emily is from a middle class family, and thus unlike most everyone at the school because she is on a scholarship and is a social outcast. Emily leaks a video to the school newspaper that involves five members of the varsity lacrosse team receiving oral sex from a minor. The varsity lacrosse players wanted to film the event and pass it along to the junior lacrosse members as a parting "gift".

The article does not definitively draw a conclusion on whether or not risky behavior is a normal part of development. In certain ways, I believe the not thinking through situation is  normal, especially for teens or young adults. Teens do not always understand consequences of certain actions. In this film, the boys did not anticipate the potential leakage of the film and therefore thought it would be completely acceptable to engage in the behavior. Furthermore, Emily did not foresee the consequences of releasing sexually explicit materials to a school newspaper, and thus was speechless when she realized such actions would result in her expulsion. Although Temple et. al., note that some studies found correlation between teen sexting and risky sexual behavior, this does not indicate whether the behavior is simply part of growing up. I realize that this is a fictional movie, however I think it is unlikely, but plausible, that this could happen at the college or university level. I would almost expect something like that to happen in a high school, because of the social setting.  I agree with argument contended by Temple et. al., in that risky sexual behavior may be linked other risky behaviors.  Is it possible that social settings factor into sexting culture. Some high schools fosters a social environment pits groups against one another, so when I hear of a sexting scandal erupting in a  high school, it does not seem far fetched. Future research should examine at which age sexting is most common.  

Watch the full movie here!

Stasi, L (2013). ‘Restless virgins’ is based on a true scandalous story. New York Post http://nypost.com/2013/03/08/restless-virgins-is-based-on-a-true-scandalous-story/

Temple, J. R., Le, V. D., Peskin, M., Markham, C. & Tortolero, S. (2014). Risky behavior and adolescent development. In T. C. Hiestand & W. J. Weins (Eds.), Sexting and youth: A multidisciplinary examination of research, theory, and law (pp. 77-94). Durham, NC: Carolina Academic Press.

YouTube Kissing Prank Update

This will be the second part of my previous blogpost about YouTube kissing prank videos. Recently the YouTuber posted a vlog about him running into some teenage fans at the mall. These teenage girls recognized him, became really excited and emotional, and some of them even cried -- typical extreme fan girl behaviors. The video is attached down below:

As I stated in my previous blogpost, the representations in Prankinvasion videos, in terms of male, female, and "dating"norms, are problematic. These videos overstates the tolerance of women to intimate actions with strangers, making the audience think they are easy to get and do not care if they are getting what they do not sign up for. In the previous blogpost I analyzed the influence this kind of representation may have to teenage boys. It is surprising that teenage girls also think the YouTuber as their hero as well. Since the women in the video do not end up with any trouble, teenage girls may take making out with strangers on the street as the norm. As a result, when they start to date someone, they might accept whatever men do to them as well, and even be happy about it. From the reactions of these girls in the video, it is safe to make this assumption. This "master of picking up girls," "idol" among teenagers, therefore, is creating even bigger trouble to the real world.

What's interesting is, the new site of Prankinvasion, which as he stated will have a new kissing video every week, has never been updated since it was created. Apparently the YouTuber has been busy on the entertainment career his YouTube channel brought him, such as interviews and personal album. He knows what he wants and this YouTube channel is just used to open up other careers, bringing him popularity. While he is out there enjoying the fame YouTube has brought him, he does not know what influence he will have on teenagers. Neither do we because it takes time for the influence to emerge. However, by the time it emerges, it could be too late. Therefore, it is a good thing that YouTube starts to interfere with Prankinvasion, but they are either not interfering enough, or they have already lost control of it. I am curious about how this will continue, and how this is going to end.

Steamy or Safe: Why the Context in Which Sexting Occurs Matters

Looking over the latest posts to the class blog, I was really intrigued by Eleni's post: "Context of Sexting." I really liked that Eleni brought up some of the different motivations behind sexting and why these motivations matter. I'd like to extend that argument and push back against Eleni's questioning of sexting in high school. Let's start with a Cosmopolitan article that I stumbled across.

The article, pictured above, is titled "4 Tricks for Your Steamiest Sexts Yet." The article, written in a conversational tone by Drew Grant, starts off with a story about the author and her experience with one of her best friends. She talks about her friend's on-agai,n off-again boyfriend and the text he sent one night: "Hey babe, what are you wearing?" The two girls took this opportunity to "beat this guy at his own game," and spent an hour texting back and forth until it reached the point of an "X-Rated Choose Your Own Adventure." Grant goes on to say that what started out as a harmless joke turned into something that was "really hot." She even comments that later that night, the boyfriend called her friend for "the first time in months and engaged in some pretty intense verbal stimulation." Grant has since deemed herself a sextpert, and wishes to use her gift to help people that don't have "game" in the digital sphere to show they how to embrace their sexuality through texts. 

Her four tips for steamy sexts are: 1. Paint a Snapchat With Your Words; 2. Cut the Cutesy Emoji; 3. Let Your Freak Fantasy Flag Fly; and 4. Figure Out Your Sext Goals. All of these suggestions point to Grant's conclusions that sexting can involve a quick picture but that it's far from a requirement. She cites a study that says that women are twice as likely to sext as men are and thus that if you (a woman) wants to send a sext and you want it to be sexy, that the woman has to take charge. She writes that the trick is to send a clear signal that you want in on some virtual foreplay but to still make your message "ambiguous enough that you can claim innocence of any dirty intentions" (Grant, 2014). 

So, what does this all mean? I would argue that Grant's article points directly to the argument that Eleni brought up in her post, that young adults and adults take part in sexting to express themselves and their sexual desires. Grant implies in her article that women can, in a manner of speaking, have sex like a man. As Gail Markle (2008) found in her content analysis of Sex and the City that sexual scripts were embedded within the show to empower the four main female characters of the show to have more recreational sexual encounters than relational, enabling them to initiate sexual encounters and to decline them (p. 45, 55). Thus, can we not make the argument that sexting, at least in Grant's world, does not have to be just an exchange of dirty pictures but an exchange that actually puts the woman in the driver's seat of foreplay, just as Sex and the City does for Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda. Over text messages, women in particular might feel empowered to speak openly about their sexual desires and fantasies as the phone in their hand is a kind of protective barrier. For the adults that Grant 'coaches,' it is not all about dirty pictures, it is about sexual stimulation through a banter of sexy talk that is about fantasy and imagery.


So for adults, sexting can be steamy, can be used for foreplay and for the expression of intimate sexual desires. But what about for adolescents? Lippman and Campbell (2014) found that sexting in the case of adolescents often occurs in the context of a "desired or established romantic or sexual relationship with peers" and as a common way "for people to make their sexual interest in one another known." The pair also found that, in some cases, "sexting served as a substitute for sexual intercourse," with participants citing sexting as "'not as bad'" as having intercourse (p. 377-378). Thus, maybe we should not be so quick to equate what is happening in the context of adult texting with what is happening in the context of adolescent texting.

While the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) is warning parents to start using the same kind of media that their children are to effectively monitor what their children are doing and deeming sexting as a major "problem," authors like Temple et. al (2014) have concluded that there is no indication that teen sexting leads to risky sexual behavior or other negative consequences (p. 91). Maybe the AAP should not be teaching parents how to dissuade their teens and children from sexting. Maybe it should be teaching parents to talk about the risks and responsibilities that come along with sexting but frame it as an intimate and safe way to explore an adolescent's sexuality with someone they trust. Parents can never be everywhere, monitoring everything that their teen does. But, if sexting is framed as a safe way of sexual exploration as long as it is respectful and consensual for teens rather than framed as teens sending steamy nude pictures back and forth like adults might, we might see more responses like Lippman found where sexting is used in place of sexual intercourse and thus a safer way for teens and adolescents to experiment and develop.

It's just like abstinence: teaching kids not to want to have sex makes them curious- teaching kids not to want to sext makes them curious. It might all just come down to teaching kids what is appropriate for sexting as an adolescent and differentiating that from adult sexting that can be used for foreplay, sexual fantasy, and advanced sexual expression that can be casual or relational. 

Let's let Laci Green explain as a perfect wrap-up:

References

Grant, Drew. "4 Tricks for Your Steamiest Sexts Yet." Cosmopolitan. Cosmopolitan, 26 May 2014. Web. 10 Apr. 2015.

Lippman, J. R. & Campbell, S. W. (2014). Damed if you, damned if you don't...if you're a girl: Relational and normative contexts of adolescent sexting in the United States. Journal of Children and Media, 8(4), 371-386. 

Markle, G. (2008). "Can women have sex like a man?": Sexual scripts in "Sex and the City." Sexuality & Culture, 12(1), 45-57. 

"Talking to Kids and Teens About Social Media and Sexting." Talking to Kids and Teens About Social Media and Sexting. American Academy of Pediatrics, 13 May 2013. Web. 10 Apr. 2015.

Temple, J. R., Le, V. D., Peskin, M., Markham, C. & Tortolero, S. (2014). Risky behavior and adolescent development. In T. C. Heistand & W. J. Wiens (Eds.), Sexting and youth: A multidisciplinary examination of research, theory, and law (p. 77-94). Durham, NC: Carolina Academic Press. 

Justin Bieber Fan: Parasocial Extreme

            I certainly think that that mayhem around Justin Bieber’s image as America’s sweetheart has died down over the past few years due to his multiplicity of rebellious and absurd behaviors. However, for some reason, this week I remembered a video that I had encountered a couple years ago, showing a three-year-old girl’s undeniable infatuation with JB. The girl, Cody, is shown crying because she “loves Justin Bieber” and because “she doesn’t get to see Justin Bieber.” The video ends with an adorably comical moment, where the home-phone rings and Cody states in a matter of fact way, “I bet that’s Justin Bieber.” Cody became a YouTube sensation, which resulted in her being on Jimmy Kimmel Live where she got to meet the one and only, Justin Bieber.

            It’s undeniable, Cody is adorable, and seeing her get to meet her dream man is a cute moment. However, I think it’s important to take a step back and realize the potentially harmful implications of such a deep parasocial relationship. Certainly, Cody is only three-years-old, but it seems that at this ripe age she’s already exhibiting an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. Because she was not able to see Justin Bieber that day (presumably in a virtual form) Cody had an outlandish emotional reaction. This is an example of the anxious-preoccupied attachment style, which despite being formed in infancy has the capacity to influence people later in life. This can be especially maladaptive, as people with this attachment style perceive themselves as unworthy of love, while also setting the expectation for others to accommodate their needs (Theran, Newberg, & Gleason, 2010, p. 271). This preoccupied attachment style has predicted more emotional intensity of parasocial relationships, which seems to account for the extremity of Cody’s reaction to her insufficient Justin Bieber time. (Theran, Newberg, & Gleason, 2010, p. 275).

            Cody also seems to show the indoctrination of young children with gender-specific roles and reactions. Young girls learn about romance, intimate relationships, popularity, and appearance from other girls. (Drury & Bukowski, 2013, p. 131) Conveniently, Cody has an older sister, and repeatedly focuses on being “in love” with Bieber and his “cuteness.” Does Cody example this adoption of other girls’ sense of romanticism? Perhaps.

            In sum, the video of young Cody crying over her childhood parasocial love is funny and adorable. But it is important for us to recognize the perpetuation of gender scripting amongst children. Furthermore, the ability for Cody’s video to go viral and for Jimmy Kimmel to use it on network television perpetuates the preoccupied attachment style without identifying the problems it may pose. Though there is a lighthearted value in the video, we need to be cautious to not ignore the forces undergirding why this video makes us laugh and smile.

References:

Drury, K. M. & Bukowski, W. M. (2013). Sexual development. In D. Bromberg & W. T. O’Donohue (Eds.), Handbook of Child and Adolescent Sexuality (pp. 115-144). San Diego, CA: Academic Press.

Theran, S.A., Newberg, E.M., & Gleason, T.R. (2010). Adolescent girls’ parasocial interactions with media figures. The Journal of Genetic Psychology: Research and Theory on Human Development, 171(3), 270-277. doi: http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/00221325.2010.483700