Why Watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette?

    

      In the past 19 Seasons of the Bachelor/Bachelorette, it can be safely said that the success rate is few and far between. Before the end of the current season, only 16% of couples have stayed together. So why try to be a contestant on the Bachelor/Bachelorette? Some try it for fame; some try it to actually find love (SHOCKER); some try it to become the next Bachelorette or Bachelor. The ladies and gentleman that go on the Bachelor and Bachelorette have different reasons, but why do people want to watch the show? I have friends that have observed the show to see the crazy people. What if people view the show to learn a variety of sexual behaviors? I bet people watch the show for that reason as well. It is an easy way to learn sexual scripts and the way people of the opposite sex act in different situations. It may not be the best representation of how to act, but this is the ruse that people fall into. This trap shows how a young adult thinks he or she should act. Often times the representation on the Bachelor and Bachelorette is a fairytale. The couples go on extravagant dates that are very unrealistic for any middle class couple. Although these dates are impractical, the Bachelor and Bachelorette can teach a young person watching the show to be responsible. The overnight dates take place in the last few weeks of the show. The couples always talk about the option of whether or not they should spend the night together before deciding on what to do. This promotes being sexually safe and can also be used as a sex education tool. As stated by Rebecca Collins and her other cowriters, “television is sometimes a healthy sex educator and may aid parents rather than usurp their roles” (Collins, 1). In addition to the entertainment value, this series can teach viewers different techniques on how to be safe in a sexual relationship. Although this show has the capability of educating young adults on how to communicate their feelings to members of the opposite sex, it remains in the participants’ hands on exactly how the scenario unfolds.  

Reference: 
Collins, R. (2003). Entertainment Television as a Healthy Sex Educator: The Impact of Condom-Efficiency Information in a Friends Episode. Pediatrics, 1115.  

Sexualization in Video Games

We've been talking a lot about how television and the internet have effected the attitudes on sex for many young adults. We haven't really discussed the recent combination of internet and media through video games though. I think this is an important junction in time because of the growing popularity of video games, especially online multi-player games. Some popular examples are League of Legends, Dota, World of Warcraft, etc. There is also something in common between these games, and that is the hyper sexualization of female characters. While males are often depicted as hyper masculine in these games, it doesn't compare to the extent that females are sexualized.

The female characters in these games are often dressed in extremely revealing clothing and have unrealistic body proportions. Skinny body, huge breasts, and long legs. Many younger players may be influenced negatively by these standards. Even though the characters aren't always necessarily human or realistic, they could have lasting effects on how the players view body types and sex in general. In the Delgado and Austin article, we read about how video games could be used as useful tools in sex education and sex health messages, but the same could definitely be said for the opposite. Games like Grand Theft Auto often teach unsafe sexual messages which could lead to cultivation effects in youth. Delgado and Austin talk about how the self-efficacy of doing these actions yourself instead of simply watching, leads to more retention of messages.

This is could also relate to the Aubery et. al reading about priming. These unrealistic body proportions could make both male and female gamers self-conscious about their bodies or have negative attitudes about other body types. While most people know that the game is a game and that the characters aren't real people, there are those to cosplay (costume play) as a hobby and they do dangerous things to try and achieve these unobtainable bodies. They try unhealthy diets or even get plastic surgery to make themselves fit a character's image better. Also those who play video games may judge others based on these standards and it's completely unfair and unreasonable. It would be interesting to see how both body-consciousness and body ideals measure for heavy gamers.

Acceptance as Humor? BDSM in the Mainstream

When it came to our class discussion on Tuesday, I was quite unsure of how to approach the subject of BDSM. While I had an idea of what it was, I really couldn't think of any examples that I had come across of its representation in the media or anything like that. But the Ikea dominatrix and the Dannon yogurt advertisements got me thinking.

Advertising has become a very weird game and I have seen my fair share of puzzling advertisements that leave me saying "What...?" This Dannon advertisement fell into the puzzling "What?" category for me. The image of the sexual French maid to sell a luxury yogurt makes some sense. The ending is where the ad lost me. Having the couple's assumed teenage daughter walk into the house to make the comment "My parents are so weird," illicting the response "You're home early" was a surprising twist and one that seemed to be vying for a laugh. But is a laugh really the correct response to this kind of situation? An adult couple trying to exoticize their sex life in a way that their daughter could walk in on them is question enough and the daughter's nonchalant reaction to the sight is even more questionable. The audience's ability to laugh at the situation becomes crucial- otherwise this advertisement is just plain inappropriate and creepy.

In her article "Mainstreaming Kink: The Politics of BDSM Representation in U.S. Popular Media," Margot Weiss suggests that bringing BDSM practices into the mainstream has the potential for very negative effects. She argues for what she calls acceptance through normalization and understanding through pathologizing as the mechanisms that mainstream audiences use to understand BDSM when it permeates mainstream media. These two processes, despite the assumption that increased visibility of minority groups and acceptance of them are correlated, Weiss argues create an image of a "very conventional love story with some kinky bits of the other." BDSM in the mainstream becomes a clean, commodified experience that is prepackaged for the slightly adventurous consumer. Weiss concludes that acceptance via normalization means that "BDSM is acceptable to the mainstream only when it turns out to be not SM at all" (Weiss, 2006, p. 111-116).

But- let's look to the Dannon ad. Is this really acceptance via normalization? Isn't this really acceptance via humorization? The same goes for the way that BDSM is mildly portrayed in the show How I Met Your Mother. As Marshall and Lily prepare to move to Italy, Ted helps them to narrow down what to pack and what to throw away. The scene shows Ted finding a gorilla suit and a blonde wig, asking Marshall and Lily if they've used either in the last year. Exchanging a frantic glance, Marshall and Lily agree to leave the wig and suit in the 'to be thrown away' pile. When Ted leaves, however, the two grab the props and run to the bedroom. The viewer is to infer that the props are used for sexual role playing, the dynamics of which are revealed when Marshall is shown tied to the bed in the blonde wig and Lily in the gorilla suit.

Just like the Dannon yogurt ad, HIMYM brings a taste of BDSM into a very mainstream sitcom. And I would agree with Weiss that Marshall and Lily are a normalizing force given that the two have a near fairytale romance story- the role playing with the gorilla suit and blonde wig are just spice in a clean and commodified relationship. And humor is a must here: the audience is supposed to laugh at the reveal of Marshall as the blonde wig wearer and at the roles that the couple use as King Kong might not be considered sexy to everyone. BDSM is not unapproachable here because Marshall and Lily, a true couple with a happy ending, are partaking in it and because it is meant to be kind of funny. I would argue, then, that BDSM in the mainstream is not just acceptance through normalization but acceptance through humor as well. That is why a friendly show like HIMYM can get away with this kind of story line- it is meant to be a joke, something funny about Lily and Marshall's relationship where the domination and submission dynamics are meant to be laughed at. 

And it's not just these two examples. Take this vodka commercial for another case: 

The element of humor is again necessary to not find this commercial terrifying for the average mainstream audience. Given that it is a vodka commercial, the ad is meant for a slightly older audience but to be accepted into the mainstream, you need to be able to laugh at the way that the dominatrix uses the men to get her chores done to impress her husband/boyfriend. And no actual sex is shown or really even implied. This BDSM is normalized and humorized and commodified to become part of the mainstream.

Thus, BDSM does have a presence in the mainstream but Weiss' argument of acceptance through normalization needs to be extended to realize that it is not just normalization but humorization that makes room for minority sexual practices in the mainstream. 

References

Weiss, M. (2006). Mainstreaming kink: The politics of BDSM representation in U.S. popular media. Journal of Homosexuality, 50(2/3), 103-132. 

College Drinking Culture

Earlier this week we watched a documentary called Spin the Bottle: Sex, Lies, and Alcohol about college drinking culture, how it relates to sex, and how it is influenced by the media. Before watching, I assumed that I would enjoy the film but not learn anything, since alcohol abuse prevention education is shoved down our throats practically at every turn here at Michigan. However, I was really caught off guard by how much the film affected me. There were two things that really struck me when watching. First, the film looks a little dated, which is something I noticed right away, and so assumed would prevent me from relating to the college students who were interviewed for the documentary. I was very surprised to find myself agreeing with their points and empathizing with their experiences within the college drinking/hookup culture- how they bought into it because drinking is simply expected, that it can be really messy, that they've made sexual choices they wouldn't when sober. Second, I realized that I had honestly never considered the role that media plays in shaping both gender roles and expectations for drinking. Again, however, I also realized that from my own experience, this held very true.

I didn't really drink in high school. I was a classic "good girl"- straight A's in AP classes, four-year varsity athlete, involved in volunteering, tennis coach, etc. Drinking didn't really appeal to me because I thought That's what college is for and Once I get to a good college I can let loose and do whatever I want. And that's what I did- finding myself for the first time in a situation where I wasn't being praised for various accomplishments, being an honors student, and no longer being a leader of a sports team, I thought, Why not, and totally bought into the college binge-drinking culture. I have always thought of my experience as a natural progression of growing up, but after viewing the documentary, I began to think Why? Why did I consider drinking to be something I would absolutely do in college while I was in high school? Why did I never question anything about binge-drinking when I did get to college? Why does no generation learn from the previous one on this topic? While these questions were running through my mind, I reflected on the media I have consumed in high school in college that depicts people from this age group. I watched Gossip Girl religiously, and devoured the books. I frequently enjoyed movies like The House Bunny, Sydney White, American Pie, Mean Girls, and the like. All of these teen movies and shows and books feature drinking as a regular part of the character's lives. If they aren't drinking in high school (a la Mean Girls) you can bet they are in college (Sydney White). While some show negative consequences from drinking, such as Cady throwing up in Mean Girls and making a fool of herself, drinking is usually a very common, nonchalant, sexual un-inhibitor that allows kids to let loose and have fun. Promised by Anna Faris and Amanda Bynes, I knew this magical elixir would be waiting for me in college, so I didn't feel any FOMO in high school when my friends  would drink. I also assumed that joining a sorority and going out every weekend would give me the ultimate college experience. (Sidenote: I did both of those things, and while I would recommend being social, I consider neither a highlight of my time at Michigan.) I wish I had been more aware of the fact that I was being cultivated to behave in a certain way when I got to college, and that this is completely unnecessary. I have loved every minute of my time in college, but there is simply no reason to feel any pressure to act in a certain way just because it is so normalized in our culture.

Sex Ed: Let's Talk About Pizza

In honor of TEDxUofM today, I wanted to share a video that came up on my Twitter feed about what teens really want to know about sex.

There have been a number of times in our discussion in which the topic of sexual education has come up. What our parents taught us. What we learned in school. What our peers may have unwittingly revealed to us. Surprisingly, most of the class seemed to receive a pretty informative education either from their schools or their parents.

Personally, I was pretty lucky as far as my formal sex education. I moved halfway through middle school to a school that was much more open to sex education than the district I had come from. My teacher was a spunky little Italian woman who was open to questions about just about anything. And almost everyone in the class was more than willing to ask. By the time I entered high school I knew that abstinence wasn't the only option and pregnancy wasn't the only thing to worry about.

On the other hand, I have a number of friends who attended private religious schools or conservative public schools who only heard the abstinence spiel (cue the crazy Christians from Parks and Rec) and lucky survived their first sexual experiences unharmed.

The Ted Talk by Al Vernacchio discusses different ways to talk about sex and how the "baseball method" is problematic in that it is "sexist, heterosexist, competitive, goal-directed, and can't result in healthy sexuality developing in young people or in adults." He instead opts for a metaphor about pizza according to three aspects: the trigger for sexual activity, during sexual activity, and the expected outcome of sexual activity. You have pizza when you want it (internal desire), pizza is all about pleasure (many options, different is good, you can stop eating when you want), and you eat pizza to be satisfied, not to win.

He applies the pizza model to education in that we should be teaching people to "think about their own desires, to make deliberate decisions, to talk about it with their partners, and to ultimately look for not some external outcome, but for what feels satisfying."

In class we had a discussion about what we wanted to see on television for sexual education based on the assessments in the article "Entertainment Television as a Healthy Sex Educator: The Impact of Condom Efficacy Information in an Episode of Friends" as well as the clips we watched in class and came up with a an array of educational information about protection, birth control, STDs, and pregnancy that we wanted to see more of. I think Vernacchio is on the right track also has a point though. Media has the opportunity to demonstrate healthy sexual relationships where people express what they want (or don't want) out of sex and can turn down sex, even with a person they've already had sex with on multiple occasions, if they feel uncomfortable. This is another chance for positive edutainment that may even present some new interesting and complicated storylines.

References

Al Vernacchio: Sex needs a new metaphor. Here's one... (2013, July 15). Retrieved March 20, 2015.

Collins, R., Elliot, M., Berry, S., Kanouse, D., & Hunter, S. (2003). Entertainment Television as a Healthy Sex Educator: The Impact of Condom Efficacy Information in an Episode of Friends. Pediatrics, 1115-1121.

Californication: secretary submissive

The TV series Californication raises some interesting issues regarding BDSM. Charlie and Marcy are a typical fun couple that most people would aspire to be. They have a fun, outgoing, trusting relationship. Charlie is a Hollywood talent agent who enjoys his job and takes care in most of the things he does. Charlie is portrayed in the series as a rational character for the most part, until he gets this new secretary Dani who deviates from the normal feminine characteristics and Charlie seems to be intrigued. She temps Charlie by wearing short skirts and does not obey what he says or asks of her most the time. This is done intentionally in order to get Charlie’s attention and to see how he reacts to her naughty behaviors. In the series Charlie “acts like any man would” and is interested in this bad girl behavior and in turn ends up having a BDSM relationship with Dani who insists on being the submissive and having Charlie dominate her.

            Because Dani behaves irrationally and seems to be a freak Charlie falls for the act and finds himself in a scary position. Dani not only wants to have a BDSM relationship with Charlie, but she strives to become an agent as well and I think she uses this tactic as a way to pursue her dream and manipulate her way into becoming an agent and taking Charlie’s job. I think this is seen as a negative thing because it makes women seem crazy and erotically disturbing. If she was interested in BDSM it wouldn’t be so bad, but since these roles are stereotypically played out in the series it just contributes to the dominant ideology that men are always the ones of power, and women are the crazy ones who manipulate and only pursue kinky things such as BDSM because they are trying to manipulate a man and not because they sincerely enjoy it.

In the article Thinking Kink, Catherine Scott analyzes whether submissive characteristics in women contribute to oppression. I think this BDSM relationship in Californication contributes to this debate because it shows both sides of the argument. Since Dani is acting as the submissive, and Charlie as the dominant they are already contributing to the gender norms of this situation. As well as Charlie is Dani’ boss, and he is also much older than her so this is also contributing negatively. The way that this situation deviates from the typical submissive behaviors of women is that Dani is the one who initiates it. She is the one who takes control of the situation and allows Charlie to experience it for the first time. As the series goes on, Dani comes out on top because she ends up becoming an agent as she wished for in the first place. The fact that she is able to get the dream job she wanted even after being in a submissive position, shows that her and Charlie are now of equal power and this is not something that typically would arise from a feminist view of oppression.

In a way this portray of BDSM is positive and negative. The positive side of it is that a women is controlling the sexual relationship and she is the one who is pursuing this behavior. It does show Charlie resisting the behavior at first, and consulting his friends about it before he engages. It also shows BDSM in a more positive light, showing that typical people engage in this behavior and it doesn’t always have to be crazy, weird individuals (even though Dani is a bit off her rocker).

The negative side is that this series portrays the stereotypical behaviors of men that present men as horny individuals who are extremely interested in foreplay and kinky sex and will cheat on their wives if it allows for this kind of relationship in their lives. It also shows that fun, outgoing women like his wife Marcy are not as fun and entertaining as they seem because they are not the ones engaging in sexual behaviors such as BDSM. I think this is extremely negative because women can behave in sexual ways that please themselves and their partner and that does not always mean that because they don’t engage in kinky behavior such as BDSM they should be cheated on. I think this show promotes the ideology that men are allowed to behave as they please because in the end everything will work out okay. In the end of the series Marcy does get back together with Charlie and she even tries to engage in BDSM behaviors to try to please him. In a way this is seen as humorous and it enhances the outgoing behavior that Marcy encompasses, but in a way it also promotes the idea that women will do whatever they think is good to please their man.


Works Cited:
Scott, C. (2012) THINKING KINK. Sex and Sexuality, Bitch Media.
 

Taylor Swift's "Fifteen" Challenges the Norm

           Many critics of Taylor Swift condemn her for her purportedly psycho crazy girl-ness or what some assume to be her lack of musical talent. Regardless of these criticisms, however, the reality is that Taylor Swift has put out a variety of songs that resonate with adolescents’ and their experiences with relationships. She’s unique by not only imparting the fairytale aspects of relationships, but also recognizing the difficulties and struggles that accompany these relationships. Particularly, her song and music video for “Fifteen” imparts the naivety that many people that age have with regards to love, and how this can often lead to heartbreak.

            This is an era where it is especially difficult to find media content that recognizes the emotional and physical consequences of sexual behavior, which then has the potential to be especially detrimental to the youth who are avid consumers of media. Exposure to sexually degrading music is associated with earlier sexual intercourse, and 2/3 of popular songs include degrading sex (Brown, Keller, & Stern, 2009, 12). Clearly then, the majority of songs the youth are exposed are inciting this problematic behavior. However, in my opinion our media world doesn’t have to be this way. Studies have found that television has the ability to teach the risks and responsibilities that come with sexual activity in a way that adolescents can identify with (Collins, Elliott, Berry, Kanouse, Hunter, 2003, 1119). The first step in this happening is having media producers recognize the necessity of these different images that may counter the normative tendency to put out airy content, that ignores repercussions. However, in my opinion, it’s a necessary step that needs to be taken in order to have an informed youth populace, who will inevitably shape future generations.

            With this in mind, I want to praise Taylor Swift for her approach to the song and music video of “Fifteen.” The song and video deal directly with not approaching love and sexuality blindly because it could very well result in emotional pain. Research has found a predominant belief that messages found in song lyrics do impact behavior (Bader, 2007, 145). With this in mind, Taylor Swift may be doing good work with this song in counteracting the preeminence of degrading music, and putting out a song that could positively impact listeners’ behavior. In other words, Taylor Swift may very well be answering the call to action to not be ignorant of sexual consequences. She may not be the most appealing individual to much of society, but Taylor Swift’s ability to recognize the necessity of honesty and openness in sexual and romantic relationships in “Fifteen” is admirable.

References:

Bader, A. (2007). "Love will steer the stars" and other improbable feats: Media myths in popular love songs. In M.-L. Galician & D. L. Merskin (Eds.), Critical thinking about sex, love, and romance in the mass media (pp. 141-160). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.

Brown, J. D., Keller, S., & Stern, S. (2009). Sex, sexuality, sexting, and sexed: Adolescents and the media. Prevention Researcher, 16(4), 12-16.

Collins, R. L., Elliott, M. N., Berry, S. H., Kanouse, D. E., & Hunter, S. B. (2003). Entertainment television as a healthy sex educator: The impact of condom-efficacy information in an episode of Friends. Pediatrics, 112(5), 1115-1121. doi: 10.1542/peds.112.5.1115

A Fine Line Between Okay and Dangerous

Whenever someone talks about BDSM, it always tends to make me think of Rihanna's song S&M, but it also tends to make me really uncomfortable. This topic is something that I have little to no information on, but one thing I do know is this: recently the internet has been up and at 'em with critiques on the new movie Fifty Shades of Grey. Now, despite not reading the book, I do know what the plot is about, and have read several articles on it. What's interesting though is that many reactions on Fifty Shades of Grey seem to be the opposite of what I thought it would be. When the book first came out, it was a big deal for being a book on BDSM. Out of that came jokes, parodies, and even some really strange cookbooks (Fifty Shades of Chicken?). But now that the movie has come out, the reactions seem to be a little more clear or I guess more out into the open.

It seems that Fifty Shades of Grey isn't a book on BDSM, but on domestic abuse. 

Now, before people go all crazy and defend it...or perhaps agree with it, we have to take a look at what the definition for BDSM really is. What is the line between okay and dangerous? According to Mistress Couple (2015), the head mistress of the oldest BDSM training chataeu, ""BDSM is about creating vulnerability, opening yourself up to your partner in a way you can trust them to take you to some of these dark places that are considered taboo overall, but in a loving way," (HuffPost). Which means that a lot of these relations have to do with consent, opening up, and trust. It is when these things are broken, that BDSM goes from being something otherworldly and understandable, to being domestic abuse. 

Now, based on the articles that talk about this movie, it seems like Christian Grey is not someone who values consent, opening up, or trust. One of the most popular examples of his manipulations is that he tries to control and manipulate Anastasia Steele despite the fact that she never signs the consent form (HuffPost). And this is seems to be outside of just the bedroom as well. This is different from the way BDSM is portrayed in a similar movie called "Secretary" where a lawyer and his secretary "developed a relationship involving power exchange, sexual discipline, and control." (112). Note the word exchange. Not that I've seen this movie either, but the word exchange sticks out to me. This word shows some measure of relative equality and control that don't scream dangerous. 

That's the hard thing about BDSM isn't it? Because in some ways, a lot of people see it as something darker and crazier than an average person's sex life, but in the same way, it can be seen as cool. But when manipulation and trust-breaking comes into play, suddenly it becomes domestic abuse and the characters that do it are seen as crazy and broken people. So in theory, if people did crazy violent things but consented to doing it, would it be okay? Talk about a fine line between socially understandable and mentally unstable. I don't know. 

Resources
Marcus, S. (2015). 'Fifty Shades of Grey' isn't a movie about BDSM, and that's a problem. Huffington Post Entertainment. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/16/fifty-shades-of-grey-isnt-bdsm_n_6684808.html.

Weiss, M. D. (2006). Mainstreaming kink: the politics of BDSM representation in U.S. popular media. Journal of Homosexuality 50(2/3). 103-132. 

Who Performs A Pregnancy?

The Internet is an information hotspot for teens to seek out answers regarding sex and sexuality. Many say that the act of sharing such sexual content is beneficial for teens in many ways. According to Jane D. Brown in Adolescence in the Media, “the Internet provides a relatively safe space to explore and define themselves, different opportunities, research on GLBT, dating advice, and a place to express feelings and concerns” (Brown, 2009).

The chart below shows the trends regarding teens and Internet use.

What struck me was that 44% of teens report using the Internet to find sexual health information. Keeping this in the back of my head, I stumbled upon an article called “24 Yahoo Answers That Prove Sex Education Needs To Step Up Its Game”. While reading this I was shocked, baffled, and laughing hysterically. This lead me to seek out some more questions that teens were asking on Yahoo.

Behold:

If 44% of teens are turning to the Internet to find sexual health information, what happens when the information they are receiving is not credible and accurate? As I continued to research the answers people were responding to these questions, a lot of the responses were very sarcastic and inaccurate. I had to wonder if these teens asking these questions believed these responses. But I feel if they were asking these types of questions in the first place, anything is possible.

The Internet is a great source for teens and can be very beneficial. However, these Yahoo questions made me come to the conclusion that teens also need to be aware that everything they find on the Internet is not credible. By listening to some of the advice they find on the Internet, teens can really be putting themselves at risk. Granted, Yahoo is the Wikipedia of information. It really should be a no brainer that the responses you get on that site are 9 times out of 10, a joke. However, adolescences are not always old enough to understand that, and when you don’t know something and someone tells you one thing, you don’t know any other way. Yahoo isn’t the only site out there with inaccurate information. There are many sites that come up when you Google “can she get pregnant if I pull out”, that are giving hazardous advice.

Brown makes a point that the Internet can be very beneficial, and I agree. But it also can pose a dangerous threat to teens seeking out sexual health information. Teens need to be aware of this and always make sure they are reading from a credible source, perhaps this should be a lesson in SexEd 101.

Works Cited

Brown, J. D., Keller, S., & Stern, S. (2009). Sex, Sexuality, Sexting, and SexEd: Adolescents and the Media. Prevention Researcher, 16(4), 12-16.

https://answers.yahoo.com

When Parasocial Interactions Go Too Far

As I was flipping through channels the other day, I came across this show on TLC entitled, "My Strange Addiction." I've never seen this show before because the title turns me off immediately. However, as this show started, I had to watch because a man on this show is addicted to being Madonna, and as you can see in the photo below, he takes it to the extreme, saying he's spent over $100,000 on costumes alone, and $75,000 on plastic surgery, wow. 

The man, Adam, says this obsession started as a teen when he listened to Madonna's first album, and it "spoke to his soul", which relates to this idea that parasocial interactions "may play important social, emotional, and transitional roles in adolescence" (Theran, Newberg, & Gleason, 2010).  In this case, we see this young man struggling with his own identity as a young teen and Madonna's music helps him cope with these challenges.   I also find it interesting that this is a male experiencing the interaction, which is quite unique. Our guest speaker pointed out that most parasocial interactions are experienced by young girls, and as a class we could only think of examples involving crazy teen girls. 

Next, Adam's mother speaks about his  addiction to Madonna as a teen and says her son defended Madonna like she was a girlfriend or personal friend of Adam's. While we know Adam has never met Madonna we see this "one-sided" nature of Adam's relationship with Madonna, which may have helped Adam cope with rejection because he obviously wasn't a "normal" teenager. 

There is no question this parasocial interaction has gone too far. For example, his relationship with his mother has become distant, maybe because Madonna has become his new role model in life.  Adam tells his mother in the picture of the scene below that he saw Madonna go from "nothing to something," which is quite an insult to his mother in my opinion because we see how Adam respects Madonna's efforts more than his mother's. Adam's boyfriend also doesn't approve of his Madonna obsession. So, we see here how this "relationship" with Madonna has taken a toll on Adam's personal life.

When we spoke of these interactions in class, we couldn't think of any negative consequences.  We saw parasocial interactions as harmless. However, we see here from this example that sometimes it is harmful. In Adam's case, he chose to engage in a one-sided relationship with Madonna as a teen because he felt like he didn't fit in, and in choosing to do so his relationships in real life are harmed.  In addition, his own sense of self is totally destroyed.  In fact, both his mother and boyfriend plead that they "want Adam back."  So, I argue that parasocial interactions aren't as harmless as we all thought they were. I realize this is an extreme case, but I do think some of these interactions have the power to consume an individual.  As a consequence, an individual, such as Adam, looses his or her sense of self and his or her real life relationships suffer.

 Again while this is a bizarre case, I feel that parasocial interactions are in fact harmful to the teens that choose to engage in these one sided relationships. For example, how many of you felt rejected by your celebrity crushes because you felt you were unworthy, or not beautiful enough? From my own personal experience, this is how I felt as a young teen.  In addition, I don't see how these interactions are a good precursor for real life relationships. In Adam's case, he learned nothing about real life relationships from having this imaginary relationship with Madonna. 

I hope this makes you think twice about the "innocence" of parasocial interactions, and think more about the real life paralyzing effects of these relationships if taken too far. 

Work Cited

Theran, S., Newberg, E. and T. Gleason. (2010). Adolescent girls’ parasocial interactions with media figures. The Journal of Genetic Psychology: Research and Theory on Human Development, 171(3), 270-277