I Don't Mind...? Wait, Yes I Do.

We all go through phases of having a “favorite song.”  Whether it’s an oldie that sticks with you for years, or a one-hit wonder that gets overplayed on every radio station until your ears bleed, we all have songs that ultimately define different periods of our lives.  Currently, one of the top hits of today’s young adult culture has an opening chord that makes my roommates and me jump out of our seats wherever we are.  It is our number one song we listen to while exercising, dancing, walking to class, or even eating dinner, and it will absolutely remind us of our senior year of college forever.  Of course, none of us truly know the words to Usher and Juicy J’s “I Don’t Mind,” but we always pretend to sing along with jumbled vowels and gibberish.  We knew that it's a song about a man who doesn't mind if his girlfriend is a stripper, but we did not know much more than that. After reading Bader’s article “Love Will Steer the Stars” and Other Improbably Feats: Media Myths in Popular Love Songs (2007), I thought I’d take a closer look at the lyrics of my new favorite song to see if any of Bader’s media love myths were fulfilled.

 

Needless to say, I was horrified.  How could I be so obsessed with a song that not only promotes stripping, but also objectifies a woman’s body with lines such as, “Your body rock and your booty poppin’, I’m proud to call you my bitch?”  My draw physically dropped.

I predicted correctly that Myth 5 would dominate the song, as it draws on multiple aspects of the woman’s “perfect” body throughout various lyrics, but I also noted that Myth 6 had an underlying theme throughout the song.  The lyrics make it very clear that the man singing the lyrics has economic and physical dominance over the woman he is singing to and is supposedly in love with. I was truly shocked that this song narrates a man being in love with a woman despite the fact that she is stripper.

The way in which these myths are executed made me question how the word "love" is being portrayed in today’s media.  Bader (2007) explains that the media today is producing unrealistic expectations for love.  Originally, this made me think of my own hopeless romantic attitudes and my dreams of finding a true “soul mate.”  However, this song provides me with a new perspective on Bader’s theory.  Perhaps not only are these songs providing unrealistic expectations for love, but they are also providing unhealthy and degrading messages for women that are being portrayed through an idealized notion of getting a man to love you.  Perhaps there are deeper and more detrimental implications of these love myths in songs, such as encouraging “slutty” behavior as something that will make men fall in love with you.

As far as I'm concerned, messages like these are not what I want being portrayed to my daughter (or son for that matter) in the future.  I would want my daughter to understand the two-sidedness of falling in love and the healthy, strong ways that women can enable and sustain intimate relationships.  I am lucky that I understand and disregard the messages Usher sends to his audiences for the sake of a catchy tune and a hypnotic beat, however, those who aren't so lucky may listen to him.  Music has an enormous voice in the media and culture of society, so we should produce love songs that don't encourage women to strip in order to get a man to fall for you.

The opening chord of the song that may or may not signify my senior year of college will never be listened to the same...

Bader, Anne. "Love Will Steer The Stars and Other Improbable Feats: Media Myths in Popular Love Songs." Critical Thinking About Sex, Love, and Romance In The Mass Media. Mahwah, New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 2007. Print