"Mobile Love" Review

Last week, I attended a Sexpertise talk called "Mobile Love" given by Dr. Jose Bauermeister. I chose to attend this lecture because I thought it would be applicable to my own romantic life, given that the description mentioned Dr. Bauermeister would cover topics such as Tinder and Snapchat. I was surprised when he instead focused on the gay app Grindr. I had heard of Grindr, and likened it to a homosexual Tinder, but didn't really understand the influence that the app has had on the gay community. Dr. Bauermeister mentioned that technology has made dating easier for people in the gay community, because it allows them to maintain a sense of anonymity in a very straight world, and a way to connect with other people who are gay. The internet- and other communicative media- allows accessibility, affordability, anonymity, and accessibility for homosexuals to connect with each other for hookups or relationships. It has also helped to broaden the public discourse of sexuality.

However, there is a dark side to apps such as Grindr. The internet allows users a virtual space where they can present an ideal, or even fake, self. This anonymity breeds losing inhibitions, and for users to view each other as objects. This can even become a way for users to view others as sexual products to be used to one's own advantage. Additionally, apps like Grindr come with the usual risks of online connections- trusting a stranger, physical safety, sexual safety, being robbed, etc. Dr. Bauermeister met his husband on OKCupid, so he does not condemn these apps or websites, but there is no denying the danger.

After listening to this talk, I was a little frustrated because Tinder and Snapchat were never discussed, and being straight, I couldn't relate to Grindr or other gay websites. However, after thinking about it, I realized that I actually could apply some of Dr. Bauermeister's findings to my own life. I may not use Grindr, or any online dating website, but I use social media and have a Tinder account. While I use Tinder more as a game or a joking way to match with friends, I have definitely experienced some of the effects listed by Dr. Bauermeister. I could easily use Tinder as a way to hook up with someone or try to start a relationship, because of the accessibility, affordability, anonymity, and accessibility afforded by the app. I don't use Tinder for this purpose, but I easily could try to find someone. However, I have sometimes matched with people who have sent me extremely vulgar messages. Usually, I brush it off and have a good laugh with my friends, because most likely, the person who sent the message is using Tinder for the same reason I am- as a joke. Even so, I always feel a little violated when receiving these messages, so I can't imagine how someone who is seriously using a dating app would feel if someone sent them something similar.

Although I was disappointed in Dr. Bauermeister's talk initially due to the fact that I was not a member of his target audience, I found the information he presented to be surprisingly relevant to my own experiences using Tinder.