Acceptance as Humor? BDSM in the Mainstream

When it came to our class discussion on Tuesday, I was quite unsure of how to approach the subject of BDSM. While I had an idea of what it was, I really couldn't think of any examples that I had come across of its representation in the media or anything like that. But the Ikea dominatrix and the Dannon yogurt advertisements got me thinking.

Advertising has become a very weird game and I have seen my fair share of puzzling advertisements that leave me saying "What...?" This Dannon advertisement fell into the puzzling "What?" category for me. The image of the sexual French maid to sell a luxury yogurt makes some sense. The ending is where the ad lost me. Having the couple's assumed teenage daughter walk into the house to make the comment "My parents are so weird," illicting the response "You're home early" was a surprising twist and one that seemed to be vying for a laugh. But is a laugh really the correct response to this kind of situation? An adult couple trying to exoticize their sex life in a way that their daughter could walk in on them is question enough and the daughter's nonchalant reaction to the sight is even more questionable. The audience's ability to laugh at the situation becomes crucial- otherwise this advertisement is just plain inappropriate and creepy.

In her article "Mainstreaming Kink: The Politics of BDSM Representation in U.S. Popular Media," Margot Weiss suggests that bringing BDSM practices into the mainstream has the potential for very negative effects. She argues for what she calls acceptance through normalization and understanding through pathologizing as the mechanisms that mainstream audiences use to understand BDSM when it permeates mainstream media. These two processes, despite the assumption that increased visibility of minority groups and acceptance of them are correlated, Weiss argues create an image of a "very conventional love story with some kinky bits of the other." BDSM in the mainstream becomes a clean, commodified experience that is prepackaged for the slightly adventurous consumer. Weiss concludes that acceptance via normalization means that "BDSM is acceptable to the mainstream only when it turns out to be not SM at all" (Weiss, 2006, p. 111-116).

But- let's look to the Dannon ad. Is this really acceptance via normalization? Isn't this really acceptance via humorization? The same goes for the way that BDSM is mildly portrayed in the show How I Met Your Mother. As Marshall and Lily prepare to move to Italy, Ted helps them to narrow down what to pack and what to throw away. The scene shows Ted finding a gorilla suit and a blonde wig, asking Marshall and Lily if they've used either in the last year. Exchanging a frantic glance, Marshall and Lily agree to leave the wig and suit in the 'to be thrown away' pile. When Ted leaves, however, the two grab the props and run to the bedroom. The viewer is to infer that the props are used for sexual role playing, the dynamics of which are revealed when Marshall is shown tied to the bed in the blonde wig and Lily in the gorilla suit.

Just like the Dannon yogurt ad, HIMYM brings a taste of BDSM into a very mainstream sitcom. And I would agree with Weiss that Marshall and Lily are a normalizing force given that the two have a near fairytale romance story- the role playing with the gorilla suit and blonde wig are just spice in a clean and commodified relationship. And humor is a must here: the audience is supposed to laugh at the reveal of Marshall as the blonde wig wearer and at the roles that the couple use as King Kong might not be considered sexy to everyone. BDSM is not unapproachable here because Marshall and Lily, a true couple with a happy ending, are partaking in it and because it is meant to be kind of funny. I would argue, then, that BDSM in the mainstream is not just acceptance through normalization but acceptance through humor as well. That is why a friendly show like HIMYM can get away with this kind of story line- it is meant to be a joke, something funny about Lily and Marshall's relationship where the domination and submission dynamics are meant to be laughed at. 

And it's not just these two examples. Take this vodka commercial for another case: 

The element of humor is again necessary to not find this commercial terrifying for the average mainstream audience. Given that it is a vodka commercial, the ad is meant for a slightly older audience but to be accepted into the mainstream, you need to be able to laugh at the way that the dominatrix uses the men to get her chores done to impress her husband/boyfriend. And no actual sex is shown or really even implied. This BDSM is normalized and humorized and commodified to become part of the mainstream.

Thus, BDSM does have a presence in the mainstream but Weiss' argument of acceptance through normalization needs to be extended to realize that it is not just normalization but humorization that makes room for minority sexual practices in the mainstream. 

References

Weiss, M. (2006). Mainstreaming kink: The politics of BDSM representation in U.S. popular media. Journal of Homosexuality, 50(2/3), 103-132.