Sexting double standard in "Girls"

At the beginning of S01E04 of Girls, Hannah receives a dick pic from Adam, who she constantly hooks up with, but does not know “what exactly they are.” She shows the picture to her friends and they do not see anything inappropriate in it. In fact, although they are shocked, they still joke about the picture. Adam then sends another text saying “SRY, that wasn’t for you.” Suddenly her friends think Adam is a psychopath and Hannah should not respond. However, after her friends leave, Hannah immediately takes a nude picture of herself and send it to Adam. He, of course, does not text her back. Later Hannah shows the dick pic to her colleagues. Similar to her friends, the colleagues do not seem to have any problem with the picture (they even comment on it) until Hannah reveals that it is not for her. They then think the picture is so ridiculous and disgusting that if Hannah does not leave Adam immediately, she does not have self-respect. Finally Hannah cannot take it anymore and tells Adam they should stop seeing each other, since the mis-sent dick pick, which Adam clearly means to send to someone else but does not even bother to explain, makes her feel “stupid and pathetic.” Although she does not want a boyfriend, she still wants Adam to have exclusive sex with her, instead of seeing his body part on some pictures. However, after her emotional speech about how she is going to leave, a little movement of Adam makes her come back and they end up hooking up again. Adam’s comment on Hannah’s nude picture is “you look like you are getting f**ked with a cucumber,” and Hannah’s reaction is “I can’t take a serious naked picture of myself, okay?”

According to Lippman & Campbell’s study, people, especially males’ perceptions of girls who send sexts are “crazy, insecure, attention-seeking sluts with poor judgment” (379). In this episode of Girls, although nobody else knows that Hannah sends a sext back, Adam’s words show his attitude towards Hannah’s sext, even though he himself starts the whole thing. Hannah’s behavior almost proves the opinions of girls sexting mentioned above – she is insecure about her relationship with Adam and tries to use the nude picture to seek attention. She is not even trying to protect herself – she shows her face in the picture. So I am not sure why the show applies this double standard – men can sext as long as he sends it to someone he commits to, while girls are supposed to let the men “take the lead” and act all crazy.

However, one thing for sure is that it puts another double standard about sexting on the table – if it is sent with a specific purpose then it is fine, but if it is sent randomly, or, even to the wrong person, it is disrespectful and disgusting. In other words, nobody in the show seems to have a problem with receiving a sext out of surprise. What they are all opposed to is Adam’s attitude with sexting Hannah. Even Hannah herself is not offended until she knows the sext is not for her. However, if this sext is between a couple committed to a long-term relationship, even it is sent without previous notice or agreement, will that make it OK? We did not have a conclusion on whether sexting is “good” or “bad” during class. Frankly I do not think it is that distinct and simple, either. What I do believe is that sexting should be conducted after receiving the consent of both sides. In other words, both people involved know that is coming. Even it is with a married couple, sending a sext without previous notice is potentially dangerous because you do not know who is on the phone on the other side. For example, if a wife is showing her friend something on her phone and suddenly a sext from her husband pops up, it will at least cause extreme awkwardness. Since cellphone and texting is still relatively new, studies about one of its ramifications – sexting – seem to be hard to reach a conclusion as well. As a result, sexting and its effect, being a really worth discussing topic, will probably remain debatable for a very long time, maybe forever.

Reference

Julia R. Lippman & Scott W. Campbell (2014) Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t…If You’re a Girl: Relational and Normative Contexts of Adolescent Sexting in the United States, Journal of Children and Media, 8:4, 371-386, DOI: 10.1080/17482798.2014.923009