Consensual Sexting or Nah?

In class last week we talked about the difference between consensual and nonconsensual sexting amongst individuals. I thought that was interesting. If a sext is sent, isn't it usually consensual? Then we brought up the point that a sext is typically consensual between the sender and the receiver of the sext, but when it extends further than that, it is more than likely considered nonconsensual. Where is the line drawn between consensual and nonconsensual sexting?

I read a listicle the other day titled "11 Facts about Sexting," which contained some interesting information about sexting and the youth. For one, it said that nearly 70% of teen relationships experiment with sexting, but "61% of all sexters who have sent nude images admit that they were pressured to do it at least once" (11 Facts about Sexting, 2015). In addition, "15% of teens who have sent or posted nude/semi-nude images of themselves send these messages to people they have never met, but know from the Internet (11 Facts about Sexting, 2015). Those are some heavy statistics, but it further complicates the idea of consensual vs. nonconsensual sexting. If consensual sexting is usually between two people in a relationship, why do 61% feel pressured at sometime to send that sext? Does that make it nonconsensual?

In the article, "Damned if you Do, Damned if you Don't ... If You're a Girl: Relational and Normative Contexts of Adolescent Sexting in the United States," they say that "sexts are often redistributed without the permission or knowledge of the original sender" (Lippman & Campbell, 2014). When adolescents don't completely understand the severity of sending sexts, things are likely to get out of hand and become nonconsensual. I understand that it is a way to explore and express sexuality if an individual has not done so before, but it is necessary to be careful. I have heard of multiple instances where consensual nude or partially nude pictures turned to nonconsensual sexts sent around a middle school or high school, when the original intention was for the photo to be private between two people.

I've talked a lot about the risks of sexting, but I am actually an advocate of consensual sexting when you can fully understand the ramifications and consequences if it goes wrong. If you are in a committed relationship and you trust the other person, consensual sexting is not weird. It is a way to be proud of your body and own who you are. It's a way of expressing sexuality in a space that feels safe. Also, it is a way to still feel sexually close to someone, especially if you are in a long-distance relationship.

People's opinions on sexting can vary, but I think as people mature and understand the possible consequences of sending something as permanent as a sext, it becomes more acceptable. Especially if it is with someone you trust.

References:

Lippman, J., Campbell, S. (2014) Damned if you do, damned if you don't... If you're a girl: Relational and normative contexts of adolescent sexting in the United States.Journal of Children and Media, 8 (4) 371-386.

11 Facts about Sexting. (2015). Retrieved April 9, 2015, from https://www.dosomething.org/facts/11-facts-about-sexting