Reflecting on Children's Sexuality Development aka "Weird...How Did I Not Notice Before?"

I'm quite aware that I watch a lot of Buzzfeed videos. Like a lot.

But something that has been really interesting to watch recently is this video that Buzzfeed posted titled "Men Who Sparked Your Sexual Awakening". 

Now, when I first watched this video, it really confused me because I never thought that animals in Disney movies could be sexually attractive. Simba, or Robin Hood (fox ver.) never really communicated sexual attractiveness to me, but thinking back on it, I definitely remember being really happy to pair Simba with Nala and strangely even Beast from Beauty and the Beast seemed natural as a kid. Looking back, sexual development in children is so interesting because it's weird to think that as children, we were all sexually developing and we weren't even aware of what was going on. But in this Buzzfeed video, adults can look back and are able to pin point aspects about Disney characters (whether they were real or fictional) that made them sexually interested without them really realizing it at the time. And whether or not they are aware of it, these portrayals of men in children's movies or boy bands show young girls what type of guys they should find attractive. This goes back to the idea that young children learn about sexuality through their social surroundings and by observing a role model (Bukowski & Drury, 2013). 

What's really interesting is that some things are not exactly supported in our societal norms (such as Beauty and the Beast) and yet to a kid, there's no problem in accepting that. I loved watching Disney movies but when I looked back and watched them again, I realized that there were a lot of sexual references or gender dynamics that children simultaneously accept and yet aren't really aware of. One of my favorite things to watch in high school was this YouTube series called "Advice from a Cartoon Princess". 

This video, which is about The Little Mermaid, points out so many messed up concepts such as changing your body for someone you love, or stealing objects from people. While kids might not be overtly conscious of these concepts, the impact that it has on their sexuality is definitely there. As a kid watching The Little Mermaid, I used to think that a woman that didn't talk was what made Ariel the most attractive. It was as if because Ariel didn't have her voice, Eric found her mysterious and beautiful. It was a strange concept that I had soaked up subconsciously until I watched the movie later in high school and realized how much I disliked Ariel. But as a kid, you don't realize those things and you almost think that's what you have to do to get someone to love you. Which is a dangerous mentality to have. 

Which is why I actually think it's good for parents to mediate films with their kids. As a kid whose mom loved watching movies, I always thought it was so annoying for my mom to ask me and my brother why we loved Toy Story. We always had to discuss it after watching and try to get "the big lesson" that it communicated. Despite it being annoying, it helped me to see that media can have deeper meanings to it if you go looking for it. 

As much as I do think kids should be independent in consuming their media and discovering what they like, I also think it's really important for children to have adult supervision. It's crazy to think about it, but parent's really have an influence on their kids. Because according to Social Cognitive Theory, if their looking for information and a role model, they're most likely going to go to their parents for answers and guidance. Recently, as I was discussing Disney movies with my roommate, I discovered that she grew up watching Lion King 2 first instead of The Lion King because her dad got the wrong version on VHS. So when she watched The Lion King, she thought it was the prequel instead of the original. Even as she was explaining this to me, she called it "Lion King 1". It's crazy to think that ONE parenting mishap can result in a kid being REALLY confused about a culturally impactful movie for a long time. And maybe that's why it's important to start talking about these things with kids early on, rather than later. Who knows, they might be able to critically think about some of the weird stuff that's on kids shows these days. 

Resources

Bukowski, W. M., Drury, K. M. (2013). Handbook of child and adolescent sexuality. Academic Press.